It amazes me that I can accurately type at top speed without looking at my keyboard but still pour water down my shirt ‘cause I missed my mouth in general.
Nick… I want you and Daisy to come over to my house. I’d like to show her around.
why do people make viruses like why do you have to be an asshole
do you ever forget that you’re a real person
hogwarts houses - snag a print, etc here!
*puts shoulder on son* hand
when you over-hear a joke in someone else’s conversation and accidentally laugh out loud
fancasting meme - eleven existing characters’ younger versions [1/2] - Catelyn, Ned, Cersei, Robert, Stannis and Jaime during Robert’s Rebellion
all american family dinner
- mom: hello son you need to put out the fancy dinner plates. i ordered some Chinese food and we will serve it on the plates so we can pretend i cooked
- son: of course mom, can u pass me the apple juice
- mom: of course son. be careful it is very spicy
- son: *sips juice* OH SUGAR U WERE RIGHT MOM THIS APPLE JUICE IS MUCH TOO SPICY
- dad: ha ha ha. wash it down with hot dogs, and all american tradition.
- son: thanks dad. hey, wanna play baseball with me after dinner?
- dad: we can't tonight, son. tonight is the night we are having our annual family photograph taken
- mom: i picked out matching sweaters for all of us including the dog.
- son: we will look great! we should use the photograph as a christmas card! merry christmas from the bakers!
- dad: great idea, son. don't forget about our fishing trip this weekend
- son: golly dad, how could i forget that important american family tradition
my self esteem has two levels
- im a worthless piece of shit who deserves no love
- bow down before bitches i am your queen
people who relate all teen dystopian books to the Hunger Game trilogy: