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Posted 2 weeks ago
309899 Notes

spatialsoloist:

It amazes me that I can accurately type at top speed without looking at my keyboard but still pour water down my shirt ‘cause I missed my mouth in general.

Posted 2 weeks ago
5676 Notes

Nick… I want you and Daisy to come over to my house. I’d like to show her around.

Posted 2 weeks ago
287031 Notes

alt-j:

why do people make viruses like why do you have to be an asshole

Posted 2 weeks ago
188743 Notes

tobiasspooky:

do you ever forget that you’re a real person

Posted 2 weeks ago
11629 Notes

hogwarts houses - snag a print, etc here!

hogwarts houses - snag a print, etc here!

Posted 2 weeks ago
52745 Notes
Posted 3 weeks ago
132207 Notes

shslequius:

*puts shoulder on son* hand

Posted 3 weeks ago
42671 Notes
Posted 3 weeks ago
358027 Notes

when you over-hear a joke in someone else’s conversation and accidentally laugh out loud

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Posted 3 weeks ago
3036 Notes

cerseioftherock:

fancasting memeeleven existing characters’ younger versions [1/2] - Catelyn, Ned, Cersei, Robert, Stannis and Jaime during Robert’s Rebellion

Posted 3 weeks ago
347195 Notes
Posted 3 weeks ago
29456 Notes

all american family dinner 

  • mom: hello son you need to put out the fancy dinner plates. i ordered some Chinese food and we will serve it on the plates so we can pretend i cooked
  • son: of course mom, can u pass me the apple juice
  • mom: of course son. be careful it is very spicy
  • son: *sips juice* OH SUGAR U WERE RIGHT MOM THIS APPLE JUICE IS MUCH TOO SPICY
  • dad: ha ha ha. wash it down with hot dogs, and all american tradition.
  • son: thanks dad. hey, wanna play baseball with me after dinner?
  • dad: we can't tonight, son. tonight is the night we are having our annual family photograph taken
  • mom: i picked out matching sweaters for all of us including the dog.
  • son: we will look great! we should use the photograph as a christmas card! merry christmas from the bakers!
  • dad: great idea, son. don't forget about our fishing trip this weekend
  • son: golly dad, how could i forget that important american family tradition
Posted 3 weeks ago
321128 Notes

gr8eva:

my self esteem has two levels

  1. im a worthless piece of shit who deserves no love
  2. bow down before bitches i am your queen
Posted 3 weeks ago
7642 Notes

underwater-smiles:

people who relate all teen dystopian books to the Hunger Game trilogy:

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Posted 3 weeks ago
196844 Notes

princecharmingtobe:

convenientlyrad:

accidentally laughing at something that’s really bad or offensive

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